Born for Each Other? - Summary:

The article “Born for Each Other?” is written by Pamela Withers. The article is about the importance of marriage in terms of the birth order to make the conjugal life happy, harmonious, integrated, understanding, tolerant etc.

In the article, the writer is talking about the life of Ronald and Lois and their investigation on the importance of marriage in terms of birth order. Ronald and Lois married for two decades and was a happy couple but in the early time, they were disturbed by the disagreement. So, they made research on a fascinating subject “How birth order not only effects in your personality but also how reliable you are with your mate?” So, they found some common birth orders characteristics and some thoughts on the best or worst matches for each. 

1. Oldest Child: Oldest child tends to be self-assured, responsible, a high achiever and relatively serious and reserved having the parental qualities. He may become a perfectionist. For the oldest child, the best matches are with youngest in terms of mate selection.
2. Youngest Child: Youngest child tends to be easy going, adventurous, optimistic, and creative and less ambitious lacking self-discipline having the manipulative quality. The mate for the youngest child will match the best with oldest siblings.
3. Middle Child: Middle child is influenced by variables though middle ones are often introverted, less likely to take initiative or achieve high academic standard and more anxious and self-critical. The middle child most comfortable marriage is with a close siblings or matches with the middle ones.
4. Only Child: Only child picks up characteristics of her same-sex (gendered) parent’s birth order. It seems comfortable for the marriage younger or middle ones.

Important Questions: 

1. The audiences for the two reading in this chapter are different. Forer’s audiences might be a university psychology class, and Withers’ audience might be the general public. The writers therefore chose different subject matter and wrote on different styles. How are the subject matter and style different in the reading.
Ans. It is true that the audience for the two reading in this chapter are different Forer’s audience might be a university psychology class students, but Wither’s audience might be the general public. As a result, most audiences will probably agree that Forer’s subject matter is more serious with her more academic  or formal style. The excerpt in Part 1 is from one of two books the psychologist wrote on birth order. In deed, Wither’s subject matter is lighter and perhaps more entertaining. As a magazine writer, Wither’s has used a style that is lively and energetic. We see this In her everyday examples, having used shorter sentences and expressive vocabulary.

2. Withers tells us that the birth order of spouses can affect the success of their marriage. Do you think people’s birth order also affects their choices of friends? Who they choose to work with? Explain.
Ans. Withers tells us that the birth order of spouses can affect the success of their marriage. I also think people’s birth-order affects their choices of friends. Withers discusses that birth-order is a system of a family unit. Whenever children are born, they have also many choices. They choose their peer and friends of same level. Besides this, they like each other similarly. They share their feelings, emotions and experiences openly by sitting together. They do their duty and also they feel easy to talk and share their private and common matters of life. Birth order is universally true in a sense but it is exceptionally happened a bit age problem. The writer has said that birth order relates mental and physical coherence between boys and girls. They can choose their life partner from their peer groups. Withers also highlights the birth order which could be affected for the success of their marriage. If there is age gap, their marriage may not be good because age factor makes problems in their married life. Marriage is a compromise between husband and wife. If wife is more aged, husband couldn’t understand her feeling and emotions. Overall, they choose to work same age and peers friends in their life.

3. Some psychologists criticize birth-order theory as wrong and unscientific. What is your position? Do you find the birth-order theory believable? Explain.
Ans. Critics of birth-order theory say that it I not scientific because one cannot prove it. It is also like astrology.